Most people think that they know lots of things about me and how I cope with diabetes however there is one thing that I haven't really told anyone about because I am a bit embarrassed and I thought that other people wouldn't understand. The easy bit for me is writing down how I felt and what happened but the hard part is pressing the published button because as soon as I press it everyone can read my post. I thought I would tell you on this blog what it is that hardly anyone else knows about as it might be able to help some other people in the same situation and show that they aren't alone and that other people out there are going through the same thing as they are. It is going to take a lot for me to tell people but I think its the best thing to do.
As you already know I have had diabetes since the age of 4 and I am 15 now which means I have had diabetes for over 11 years. When I was 4 years old I started on injections and my mum used to inject me because I was so young. However injections didn't work very well for me and made me quite ill which meant I had a lot of time off school. The hospital tried me on all different types of insulin but none of them worked so when I was 9 I got a pump and I have been on the pump ever since. The pump has helped me so much, my levels are better and its made me feel a lot better too but I still have the odd days were my levels aren't right and make me ill. The pump has been a lot better for me then injections and I have no idea what I would do without it now. Everyone is different though so just because the pump works better for me it doesn't mean it will work better for everyone.
Anyway as you probably already I have a really bad needle phobia, I know it sounds really stupid but its true. Even though I stick needles in my everyday I still have a massive fear of them. So when I first started on injections at the age of 4 my mum injected me because I was so young. I know people normally injected there self from like the age of 5 or something like that but the truth is I never injected my self the whole time I was on injections. I know this probably sounds really weird and stupid that from the age of 4 to 9 I never injected myself but its true. My mum used to come into school for me just before lunch so that she could injected me and then I could go have lunch. You are probably all wondering why I didn't inject myself, the main reason is because of my phobia of needles. Even now the thought of having to push a needle through your skin and then holding it there while you push the insulin in you, then pulling it out makes me feel really sick. I really don't know why it makes me feel like that but its the truth.
So when I was 9 years old the hospital gave me a pump as injections weren't working for me. When I first started on the pump my mum would change my line every 3 days for me as I was scared to change it myself. I had my line in my bottom to start off with as that was the place where the hospital told me to have it. My site got all lumpy after a while which meant the insulin wasn't going in to me properly so I had to change my pump site. To start off I was really scared to change pump sites as I had used the same site for so long and I couldn't imagine it being anywhere else. Also I was scared because of my needle phobia too and if I changed sites it would mean I would be able to change it myself which I didn't want as I was scared. It got to the point where my levels were really high and I had ketones because my pump site was lumpy so I had to change it or I would have ended up in hospital. So for the first time I had to let my mum put my line to my pump in my leg and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be (I still have my line in my leg now)
When I was 14 years old I started being the Duke of Edinburgh award. However when it came to the real expedition there was a problem. I couldn't change my line to my pump myself, so the hospital wouldn't let me go. As I really wanted to got I thought I would try to change my line myself for the first time ever. So I set a new line up and tied to put it in my. When I went to put the cannula in me I couldn't do it as I was so scared! I tried again and put the cannula on my leg making sure it was alright and then I closed my eyes and pushed the buttons to insert the cannula into my leg. When I opened my eyes I couldn't believe it, I had done changed my line myself for the first time ever.
After changing my line for the first time I decided that it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would have been. I started to change my line myself everyday for the first time and now I change it myself all the time. At first it was a bit scary dong it and even now I have days were it takes my ages to change it because I am scared and trying putting off changing it. I am so proud of myself that I can change it myself as 5 years ago if anyone had asked me if I thought I would ever be able to change my line by myself I would have said no. I have now realise that I can do thing if I put my mind to it.
I hope that this post has made people realise that if they are scared to inject or change their line to their pump they aren't alone as I am sure loads of other people have been in the same situation. Also I hope that other people understand and don't think its weird that I have never injected myself. I promise there is nothing wrong with being sacred to change your line or inject as I am sure other people were scared the first time they did it. Everyone is different and should do it in there own time so don't worry how long it takes you to inject or change your line because you will be able to do it in the end and you will be so proud of yourself when you do it.
Always remember you are stronger than you think!
As you already know I have had diabetes since the age of 4 and I am 15 now which means I have had diabetes for over 11 years. When I was 4 years old I started on injections and my mum used to inject me because I was so young. However injections didn't work very well for me and made me quite ill which meant I had a lot of time off school. The hospital tried me on all different types of insulin but none of them worked so when I was 9 I got a pump and I have been on the pump ever since. The pump has helped me so much, my levels are better and its made me feel a lot better too but I still have the odd days were my levels aren't right and make me ill. The pump has been a lot better for me then injections and I have no idea what I would do without it now. Everyone is different though so just because the pump works better for me it doesn't mean it will work better for everyone.
Anyway as you probably already I have a really bad needle phobia, I know it sounds really stupid but its true. Even though I stick needles in my everyday I still have a massive fear of them. So when I first started on injections at the age of 4 my mum injected me because I was so young. I know people normally injected there self from like the age of 5 or something like that but the truth is I never injected my self the whole time I was on injections. I know this probably sounds really weird and stupid that from the age of 4 to 9 I never injected myself but its true. My mum used to come into school for me just before lunch so that she could injected me and then I could go have lunch. You are probably all wondering why I didn't inject myself, the main reason is because of my phobia of needles. Even now the thought of having to push a needle through your skin and then holding it there while you push the insulin in you, then pulling it out makes me feel really sick. I really don't know why it makes me feel like that but its the truth.
So when I was 9 years old the hospital gave me a pump as injections weren't working for me. When I first started on the pump my mum would change my line every 3 days for me as I was scared to change it myself. I had my line in my bottom to start off with as that was the place where the hospital told me to have it. My site got all lumpy after a while which meant the insulin wasn't going in to me properly so I had to change my pump site. To start off I was really scared to change pump sites as I had used the same site for so long and I couldn't imagine it being anywhere else. Also I was scared because of my needle phobia too and if I changed sites it would mean I would be able to change it myself which I didn't want as I was scared. It got to the point where my levels were really high and I had ketones because my pump site was lumpy so I had to change it or I would have ended up in hospital. So for the first time I had to let my mum put my line to my pump in my leg and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be (I still have my line in my leg now)
When I was 14 years old I started being the Duke of Edinburgh award. However when it came to the real expedition there was a problem. I couldn't change my line to my pump myself, so the hospital wouldn't let me go. As I really wanted to got I thought I would try to change my line myself for the first time ever. So I set a new line up and tied to put it in my. When I went to put the cannula in me I couldn't do it as I was so scared! I tried again and put the cannula on my leg making sure it was alright and then I closed my eyes and pushed the buttons to insert the cannula into my leg. When I opened my eyes I couldn't believe it, I had done changed my line myself for the first time ever.
After changing my line for the first time I decided that it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would have been. I started to change my line myself everyday for the first time and now I change it myself all the time. At first it was a bit scary dong it and even now I have days were it takes my ages to change it because I am scared and trying putting off changing it. I am so proud of myself that I can change it myself as 5 years ago if anyone had asked me if I thought I would ever be able to change my line by myself I would have said no. I have now realise that I can do thing if I put my mind to it.
I hope that this post has made people realise that if they are scared to inject or change their line to their pump they aren't alone as I am sure loads of other people have been in the same situation. Also I hope that other people understand and don't think its weird that I have never injected myself. I promise there is nothing wrong with being sacred to change your line or inject as I am sure other people were scared the first time they did it. Everyone is different and should do it in there own time so don't worry how long it takes you to inject or change your line because you will be able to do it in the end and you will be so proud of yourself when you do it.
Always remember you are stronger than you think!
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